Weird Al- White and Nerdy

Guess what!

Today is the official, the international, the one and the only Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Here is an example of that that means:

Before:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away

With Pirattitude:

A proud beauty, Little Miss Muffet
Embarked with her matey on her tuffet
Making lubbers eat her foul curds and whey. Arrr!
Avast! Along came a behemoth bilge rat
Who smartly sat at her starboard stern
And scared Miss Muffet all the way to the depths of Davey Jones’ Locker. Arrr!

Don't forget - Pirate Math:
1) Ol' Chumbucket can blow a man down in 20 seconds. Arrr! How many men can he blow down in 15 minutes?



I'll be planning something piratical for me storytime with the wee landlubbers this mornin.

Ok, enough of that. Please watch this, it made me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Stereotypes FTL

First off - remember that list of books we put together at the library (this is mostly Jess and Myles, I think). Well, the library ordered ALL of them!! Don't remember the list? I'll post what we put together when I'm at my work compy.

Secondly, I know it would hurt, but I just want to give this cat a gentle hug, a scritch behind the ear, and some catnip. This was really funny at the time because I had just woken up to a cat screeching and hissing in my house (instead of just the one young boy cat chasing Zephyr, both boys were antagonizing her and she was screesching at them WHILE hiding on top of my feet on the bed, which meant that when she smacked at them, she caught my foot with her claw and I screeched a bit).

Thirdly...do these even fit? And what would the Barbie stereotype for where you are now look like?

Limited Edition Vermont Barbie
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Vermont Market:

Williston Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at exclusive Williston stores. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired, foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

South Burlington Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Old North End Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Essex / Shelburne Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer h3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Milton Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchuse her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Stowe Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Optional Percocet prescription available.

Barton Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Hardwick Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter top. Also available with a mobile home and 8-track tape player.

Montpelier Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Montpelier Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Richmond Barbie
This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV, complete with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also comes with his own mountain bike and dog.

Barre Barbie
This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Finally, 30-second bunnies and Office Space.

Painfully cute

It's long sure, but you'll live

Today was the first day back to work after a fabulous week-long vacation! I didn't go anywhere, and when people asked me what I was going to do, my answer was unequivocally "nothing" (thank you very much!).

But I'm back now and I'm refreshed. In all irony today's Ze "The Show" was about why I am feeling so good. I'm about upper-medium-stage-RTC . If I ever turn into a PDJ or PFOA - remind me that I'm not vacationing correctly.

It turns out though that I did a TON of stuff. It's also true to say that it's only stuff I would care about doing.

I played World of Warcraft. I made it to Stone Guard PvP rank (tres awesome) and Exalted Frostmaw Tribe reputation, and revered UC - not that any of that means anything to most of you, but there it is. I also joined a guild. Guilds are group of players that agree to be in the same group, help each other, hang out, pick up after themselves, just be generally awesome. Some guilds are better than others. On my last server I was on a guild that I pretty much liked...you know, liked except for the jerks and the whole elite behavior - that sucked. So, I tend to be rather picky about my guilds. But, I'm also shy in WoW, I tend to keep to myself, do my own thing and only seek help when absolutely necessary.

So, there I was repeating in the LFG (Looking for group) channel that I need other people to go to this dungeon with me (see, one of the complaints I have in the game is that when hit the high levels you HAVE to group with other people to do the quests - no more soloing. May not seem like a big deal, but when you're as shy in game as I am it's an important detail.). And no one was responding. Meanwhile, I am considering joining a guild if I can find the right one - and I stopped being nice about my questions really. When someone sent out a "wanna join my guild message" I knew exactly what I was looking for - I wanted a mature guild that was doing the end-game stuff and raids, but knew I had a life and would not be trading it up to be in their guild. The guild leader, Nikagore wrote back "most of us have jobs and families, don't sweat it" and I decided to give it a shot.

In WoW there are 2 factions the Alliance (elves, humans, gnomes, dwarves) and the Horde (undead -which is what I am - orcs, trolls, taurens); the two sides are NOT good an evil, the mythology of the game is far more complicated then that.

The guild name? Dirty Horde (say it outloud and laugh like I did)

And they are awesome - they have been SO helpful! They're a really cool group, they're helpful, they're interesting, and intelligent. So, my point (yes, I have one of those!) over my vacation I did a couple of new game things I've NEVER done before and they were awesome and I got cool loot!! So, yeah, I had fun with that.

But that's not all!!!

I got a good start writing on an idea I had. It's turning out to be quite interesting.

I spent a day tooling around Brattleboro with Larisa, and, of course, everyone was talking about the nudists and the fact that Dr. Phil himself was going to interview them (isn't a bit chilly now to be nude in Brattleoboro?).

I got a facial and hot stone massage spa day (Jay is awesome).

I also got half a blanket knit while I was watching movies.

Which movies? Japanese horror and things of weirdness that must be seen to be believed!!!

So, what have I watched lately (man, that's been awhile):

Jisatsu Sakkuru (Suicide Circle) - Have you seen Se7en? You know that twisted American movie that uses a homicide investigation of a series of connected grisly deaths to make a point about modern culture - yeah, that's Se7ven. Well, in a way, that's also Suicide Circle (SC) - it's just that Suicide Circle is less gory and funnier and is out to make a different point - the vehicle, a homicide investigation is also what moves SC.

It all starts when 54 giggling schoolgirls are standing on a train platform in Shinjuku station (Tokyo), as the train arrives, they line up, hold hands, and - with an eerily positive A-One-A-two-A-Three - the entire group throws itself in front of the train. There's blood, there's a few random body parts and pandemonium.

Then there are the detectives trying to sort out what happened. The deaths, of course, don't stop. There is a linking element to the suicides - except for one, a group of high school kids who jump off the roof of their school, which is fascinating commentary on the Japanese fad culture. Actually the whole thing is, fascinating that is, taking an extreme look at fads and youth and more (I don't want to give it all away).

There's a twist to this movie too. I will give it credit that I didn't guess the twist until very near the end, which is a feat since I can usually predict stories with some accuracy quite quickly.

The cinematography is amazing - the director (this is an indie Japanese film at that) uses several different styles of filming for the various shots and it's gorgeous and revolting and depressing and funny in turn. The pacing is very good, the story is fascinating and given certain similarities between the Japanese and American cultures the social commentary is not lost in translation. Not to mention you may well find yourself singing those damn songs!! The one Genesis sings is STILL stuck in my head and I think I'm going to find an .mp3 of it to get it out!!


(EDIT: Yeah, go download 'em. This is one I really like although the scene is nearly impossible for me to watch again despite it's intended absurdity. Get it here.)

I recommend this one. Highly.

The Booth - Ignore that the DVD box says "Tartan Asian Extreme", please, just ignore it. Because this movie is awesome. There is no gore, there is lots of suspense, atmosphere, creep, and superb storytelling. This is a ghost story that I think we're going to have to watch for our Halloween Animeniacs show - it's not an anime, it is live action, but it's really very good.

This only came out last year, and it's nice to see that it's a J-Horror WITHOUT any white-faced ghost children or stringy-haired female ghosts. This one is different and NOTHING is lost in translation.

From the back of the DVD box (because I can be lazy too): "Shogo is an arrogant and condescending star of a popular call-in radio show. While his new studio is being remodeled, he must temporarily broadcast out of Studio 6, a creepy and dilapidated booth abandoned since its last DJ committed suicide. Suddenly, he beings receiving disturbing call, the voices on the line whisper "liar" over and over." I don't need to write the rest. Yes, I know it sounds like another trite ghost story plot, but believe me when I say that this one is told differently and the end is AWESOME!! OMG, I didn't even see that twist.

Another recommendation from me.

Kairo (Pulse) - this one was ok. I was entertained, since I've gone at length on the ones I've loved I'm just going to leave it there. There is an American version of this being made. In terms of scare-factor, I'm going to expect a lot more from the American version; there was lots of creep in it, but then there were great build-ups that ended up going nowhere in terms of both story and scare.

Mutant Aliens - I like Bill Plympton. I like him a lot. This was weird, this was offensive, this was funny, this was certainly, um....original. I'm still processing my thoughts on this animated feature film. I don't know if I would recommend it to just anyone, no I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

Silent Hill - I ignored the warnings of complete suckage and when Jay rented this one, I watched it. Man, I really liked those games too. The filmmakers seemed to have decided to skip the scare and go for the gross-out. That sucked. However, credit given where credit is due - the young actress is spectacular as are the sets.

What I read lately (over my vacation):

Good Omens (again)

Snow Crash (again)

Fight Club (rocks!)

Haunted (eeeeurgh - I love it!)

Call of Cthulhu (classic!)

Death Note (I heart DN!!!)


So, the upshot of it all is.....I did nothing over vacation that anyone other than me would want to do.